News

The much-heralded second coming of Jesus has been dismissed by Christians after the Lord’s son and saviour had the temerity to arrive on England’s south coast in a small boat.

The Catholic church has revealed an evolutionary plan to leave the choice of Pontiff to natural selection.

A Basingstoke resident is definitely using the fact that Jesus was crucified on Good Friday to avoid doing even the smallest DIY jobs around the house, it has been confirmed today. 

A man who demanded chocolate eggs have the word ‘Easter’ written all over the packaging didn’t bother going to church again this year. Forty-eight-year-old Simon Williams has spent most of the past two months menacingly tweeting supermarkets and chocolate manufacturers, threatening to boycott their products forever unless they made it clear their goods were a

Christians nationwide are celebrating being cleansed of sin by doing one of the worst ones.

British patriots will tomorrow celebrate the resurrection of a man whose very actions and words would have have earned him the title of ‘woke libtard’ were he alive today.

Donald Trump has today signed an executive order officially redefining the length of “one day” as being “twelve months”, in what White House officials are calling a “bold and innovative move to deliver on campaign promises without everyone branding you a failure.”

A quiet residential street in Berkshire has become the scene of an escalating diplomatic crisis after bedtime negotiations between local parents and their 7-year-old son collapsed dramatically late last night.

A woman has defended her decision not to vaccinate her children due to autism fears, and insists she sleeps ‘fine at night thank you very much’ due to the dream catcher which she hangs above her bed.

Visitors to Hadrian’s Wall were shocked today after discovering that a brand new Toby Carvery had mysteriously appeared next to the stump of the Sycamore Gap.